WALT - Describe a character’s thoughts and feelings using show not tell
That was the question that occupied their frightened minds as they crouched, huddling together, next the pile of dusty sacks in the base of the windmill…
The two friends bit their fingernails. They shook and trembled as the windmill lit up with white light.
They had wide eyes that darted all around the room. Rats and mice scuttled across the floor taking cover from the rain, that was dripping down from the roof. The two boys huddled close to each other for warmth so they wouldn't be so cold.
Flashes of lightning brightened the sky as if somebody was holding a giant torch in the sky. Lightning formed a giant web of light and thunder boomed louder than ever. Thunder boomed over the windmill lowering the boy's spirits. The clouds grew darker by the second and the thunder got louder.
“We have to get out of here” said Bill, “we cant” Dan yelled over the thunder as he stared out the window. “Why not” Bill yelled “come look” Dan said in a sigh. Bill climbed up and looked out the window, there was rain lightning everywhere. The rain was too heavy, lightning was everywhere. They had nowhere to go “C-c-can't we run” cried Bill “no,it … doesn't look like we can” Dan slowly explained.
By Michael
wow Its the only one on the blog good job
ReplyDeleteMichael I liked your piece of writing. I got a good picture in my mind of what it would be like.
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